The Last Month Of My Life

As I look over the edge of the grand canyon I take several seconds realize that it might not be such a smart idea to jump over this large treacherous gap on my skateboard. Now I know you are probably wondering why I am doing something so dumb that could easily end my life in a snap............. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT! I am expected to die tomorrow!!!!

This is probably hard to understand so lets rewind. A month ago I was diagnosed with a ridiculous disease called flamajamapajamagitis. This peculiar disease means that right when I am infected I have exactly a month and a half to live until my heart completely stops. I had absolutely no idea something like this would happen to me!! Then I realized why would I stay at home and live a plain, old, regular life when I could do all of the things I had ever wanted to do! So I then made a list of what are the most and least important things to do before I die. This list included all of the stuff nobody had ever dreamed of doing.

Well way back when I was on my first and least important thing to do I was yelling "YEAH!!!!! I AM JUST GOING TO HAVE FUN FOR THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE!!!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"So the first thing that I was going to do was visit the three cities: Venice, Athens, and of course Paris. Since I only had a month left to live I thought "boy I have to do this pretty quick". So I decided to Go to these places in for only a week. I had also thought "why not do some other things I wish to do in these cities?" I then easily bought a last ticket flight in first class (always wanted to do that!) and I was on my way to Paris.

It was an absolutely lovely time in Paris and I did many of the I had only dreamed of. I ate french cuisine, painted a picture of the Eiffel Tower and did something only a crazy man would even think about doing; wingsuiting. Probably many of you have not a clue of what wingsuiting is so I will explain. You strap yourself into a suit (hence the name wingsuit) that sorta makes you look like a flying squirrel because it has what looks like a huge flab of skin under the armpits that catches the air. You simply jump off a cliff and glide through the air along the cliff side. When you have had enough, pull the ripcord and float safely to the ground. Now who wouldn't want to do that!?!?!?!?! Now onto Venice, Italy!

It was even a nicer time in Venice! I got to do the two things I had always wanted to do since I knew they existed! Now the first thing I did was take a leisurely and relaxed ride down Venice's many canals and rivers. The last but certainly not the least thing I did was skydive. Now everybody wants to skydive am I right? Well this was not ordinary skydiving...............it was skydiving with all of m friends and family at the same time!!!!!!! And I mean all of my friends and family!!!!!!! There must have been at least five hundred people in the air!!!!!!!! Good times, good times.

The last stop on this crazy tour was the famous Athens, Greece. It was absolutely amazing!!!!! The food, architecture and activities were amazing! Enough said!!!!!!

Now you would think that I had, had my fill because I had done all those awesome things but I was just getting started. The next thing on my list was get fired.......You probably all think that this was a horrible idea but I have always wondered what it would reaaaally take to get fired. Don't you wonder to?? Well with my perfect resume (that I of course made up) I had easily gotten a job at a paper company being a phones salesman. Now for the fun to begin......I had done things from not showing up at work to yelling at my customer's "WHY WOULD I SELL YOU THAT!!!!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SELL ME THAT!!! SO WHY SHOULD I?!?!?!?!" Those were all fun things but the best part about working there was the office pranks I pulled on my fellow workers. I once moved one of my friends desk into the bathroom when he was gone!!!!!

Within days I was fired so I trudged into the next thing to do on my list............ Escape Alcatraz with Noah McIntosh.

This idea was wayyyyyyy harder than I thought because there was one obstacle we had not thought of. Alcatraz is a national park so we would have to do something pretty bad to turn it back into a jail. We had thought of all of the worst things to do from robbing the biggest bank in the world from ALL of its cash to assassinating Barrack Obama. Since me and Noah are only twelve I don't think we would have the guts to kill someone so we went with option one: robbing the largest bank in the world.

We gathered up some really, really realistic toy guns an headed to the bank. It was pretty easy to rob the bank but when we were caught.........We weren't sent to Alcatraz.......We were sent to the highest security jail in the world. I thought we were gonners but when we were thrown into that jail cell we both knew escaping this jail would be as easy as pie. Since this jail was meant for full grown adults (and the creators of the jail were trying to save money) there were at least a half foot gap between bars!!!!!!! So when night came we inched our way out the window and headed back to our home in Peachland B.C.

That leads us up to exactly to right now at the grand canyon. I know this is a dumb idea but why does it matter? I did all I ever wanted to do! The real question is not why am I doing this....... But rather what would you do if you had a limited lifetime?