Scaredy Student

It was a plain old, average day at middle school. As usual I was dreaming of unicorns, rainbows and fluffy clouds when I wake to the sound of my teacher, Mr. Hayhurst, screaming at the top of his lungs "TIMMY! WAKE UP!". Just like every other day I was dead tired ALL THE TIME! People are constantly questioning me"why are you so tired" but I always answer with a "I dunno"............. No one knows the truth......... I can NEVER EVER tell them the truth.....................

Hi, my name is Timothy Hankens and I have a confession...... There is a monster under my bed. I had absolutely no idea this monster existed until I saw the shocking , revealing movie "The Monster Under My Bed". Ever since viewing that terrifying film, I haven't slept in my bed for months on end. My average night-time routine is to brush my teeth and then "PRETEND" to go to bed when actually I sneak back up stairs to the living room. I plop myself down onto the couch and hit the power button on the remote. I soundlessy watch T.V. ALL NIGHT! By the time everyone starts to get up I have already swiftly snuck back downstairs into my room. As if nothing suspicious happened I slowly walk out of my room casually yawning and pretending I just woke up from a long sleep. No one suspects that I was up all night!
This plan works like a charm until I set foot through the main entrance of my school. Instantaniously my body is flushed with a sense of sleepiness and suddenly my legs turn to wobbly spaghetti strands and I have trouble standing up! That's why books come in handy....... Once I get into my first class I find the largest text book on the shelf and place it on the center of my desk. After that I grab my gray sweater, fluff it into a pillow, and I am off to slumber land. Most of my teachers are complete morons and are so oblivious that they never bother to ask what I'm doing. Each class is an easy hour and a half sleep! The only class that I have to try hard for the teacher not to notice me catching some Z's is in band class. Since I am a tuba player, I wear a thick pair of shades and lean my head against the wall and my tuba. No one would ever know I was asleep. You are probably wondering how I get all my work done but it is a very, very simple concept. I pay all those nerds to do it for me!
I thought I could do this routine forever until........ the incident. It was 3 in the morning (while I was watching the tuesday night special horror film on t.v.) when all of a sudden I hear the click clack of footsteps coming down the hall. I quickly shut off all the lights and the Television before I realize I was not fast enough. My little five year old brother had seen me. From this point on I knew I was a goner. I wasn't sure if my dad was going to kill me for watching t.v. all night, my mom to kill me for not sleeping in my bed or for both of them to find out about how I sleep in class and get absolutely no work done. I was lucky if i got grounded for the rest of my life!!!
Of course my baby of a brother ran off screaming into my parents room, assuring me I was in for a major scolding. As my dad and mom slowly stomp in complete fury toward me, I cower back in fear of what's to come. Of course I was yelled at but after I had told them the whole story, they didn't seem so upset after all. They just simply said "Conquer your fears son and go kill the monster under your bed". So i set out to do what seemed to be the impossible......... I would take the life........ Of the monster under my bed.
I started to wonder "what would I have to use to kill a monster" or "how many bullets do I need" so I started to research on the wonderful Internet with these questions in mind. Believe it or not there was actually one website that had all the info I needed! It read: The best way to destroy a monster under your bed is to get a nuclear laser hypoactive conjunction blaster and evaporate it into thin air! All I have to do is save up a couple billion dollars and I can easily afford one of these laser guns! The only problem is how could I EVER afford that kind of money?!?! So I realized I am going to have to do this the old fashioned way......... Good old crowbar and a flashlight.
I slowly eased door open to my monster populated room as my shaky hand gripped the cold steel of a crowbar. As I slowly but surely find the courage to step foot in the room but I don't bother to flick the light switch on my wall. Out of the corner of my eye, among the darkness I swear I see a shadow scurry under my bed. My knees start to vigorously tremble and I say to myself over and over "It's now or never. It's now or never. It's now or never". I place each foot down separately and slowly so I assure myself I won't make a single noise.... Hesitating, I move as slow as molasses, lowering myself into a squatting position......As I drop my head to get a view under my bed, my eyes shut in fear of seeing a horrible abomination.......I open them just enough to see........nothing....... It's too dark. "let's shed some light on this situation" I think to myself as I slowly slide the switch labeled "POWER" on the flashlight. The sudden flash of light leaves me momentarily blind sighted and I have to blink several times before something astonishing happens.......... As my vision clears I see.................................NOTHING!!!!!!?
I admit that it was very silly of me to believe in some dumb old monster movie and to be so terrified that I didn't sleep in my bed for months..........but........ Have you heard of the clown in your closet..............................?