Epic Snowball Battle

As I bolt across the battlefield, snowballs whiz by my ears. Each snowball that passed beside my body brings me closer and closer to death. Utterly terrified I fling myself over the edge of the snow ridge and slump myself down beside my comrade John. I scream to be heard above all the commotion ,"gather up men to flank the enemy position and cause a distraction to give us a chance to ambush their base!". John's head nods in approval. He screams coded commands and within seconds our plan is taking flight. Three soldiers stand in front of us completely at my command. I raise my hand and give some signals to follow me around the backside of a large home. As we slowly crouch our way around the house I notice the sound of footsteps from nearby scouts. I motion my hand to "drop to the ground" and without a trace we are hidden beneath the snow. Momentarily we wait until the enemy is right above us. At that point I reach my hand up and pull him towards the ground. John does the same to the other scout. "Easily taken care of" I whisper. We crawl until the sight of an enemy base is in view. The five of us discuss our needed plan and begin to put it in play. John and the other three men wait around the corner of the entrance to the base while I go into step foot into the base. As I yell ,"HEY! Over here!" I notice only four men inside! They all run toward me and I stumble outside to join John and the other soldiers. They bolt out the door and come out to see five men (John, the three soldiers and I), snowballs in hand. Immediately they drop to their knees in surrender and I think to myself "Job well done". Little did I know that they had anticipated this attack and already had people waiting on the far side of the enemy base. As ten soldiers pop their head out from around the enemy base I realize that not only had our mission failed, but we had little chance of survival. I look to my left and already the three soldiers were twenty yards away! The fourteen enemy soldiers open fire and their ammunition was not snowballs....... They were flinging ice balls! I stumble to my feet and John does the same. As we try our best to dodge the bullets, I hear a shriek in pain as I look to my left to see John laying on the ground. Blood oozes from a wide wound on his temple and in a faint voice I hear, "Go on....... without...... me Simon......". "I CAN"T LEAVE YOU HERE!". "You have... to go on Simon...... You'll die if you.. stay here." "No matter what happens I will get you home!" I flop him over my shoulder and begin to run as best as I can with the extra weight. Being pelted with snowballs I can't let go of my friend. We almost reach my base when my vision goes black and I can no longer hear the sounds of snow hitting snow or the shouts of other men...... I feel my legs turn to jelly and fall to my hands and knees. The sharp and sudden pain of a smack across my face brings me to reality. "SIMON! STOP FANTASIZING AND HELP ME BUILD A SNOWMAN!" I hear my brother yell at the top of his lungs. So much for that snowball fight...........

PPPP's

All That I See Are Sad Children

I am always empty.... The only thing that gets poured into me is a measly amount of dry rice....... The boy who eagerly dips his hands into my body to scoop out the rice, has to make the rice last all day. As each day goes by he picks me up and I look into his eyes...... All I see is sorrow, pain hunger and even hate.... I can see him get skinnier and skinnier each week and I know that one day he will not live in this horrible world.

His only dream is to become builder, so he can help out all of the other family's who do not have homes and cannot afford them. I see him try to lift a mud brick, but his arms crumple and the brick falls in front of his feet. He is too weak and I cannot help him get food because I am only a small yellow bowl..... a helpless bowl who feels no pain or sorrow... unlike these children around me.

He is not receiving enough nutrients from his rice and so he has arms the width of a rope, and each bone of his ribcage protrude from his chest as if he were a skeleton. He cannot afford to buy food and is too malnourished to work for any sort of jobs. His mother is mighty ill, his sister is too small and his father has passed away..... His family has no money or food...... and there is nothing I can do about it.

My only dream is to be filled so full until chicken and rice pour over my round edges....... If only I could see the boy grin when he sees how much food I hold for him...... it was a never ending amount of food..... This boys stomach would for the first time feel full and not the evergrowing ache of hunger.....

I have hope for one day that every boy and girl would never feel hungry...... to have an education, and not be sent to work...... or recruited to be a soldier...... I can't do anything because I am nothing but a mindless bowl. The only people who can make a difference... are the people of today....... it starts with YOU.......

Toaster Hand

"After a long day of punching, he had realized that his pinkie had grown a toaster! How convenient is that?! HE CAN NOW HAVE BREAKFAST ON THE GO! This is going to help that man's morning routine outstandingly!
Usually when he wakes up, he have to use a regular toaster and wait one minute oh so boringly but now with the new and improved pinkie toaster, he can have breakfast on the go! In the car...... on the sidewalk..... at the store..... ANYWHERE! Do you wish that you could be this guy? Well now you can with the pattended toaster growing machine! Just insert you finger into this hole here and......... VOILA! You now have the new and improved toaster pinkie! This is a $40.00 value but we are going to give it to you for an amazing price of only seven................. easy payments of $65.99. If you aren't satisfied yet we'll throw in a free hand phone making machine for only seven more payments of $78.99! Call now to 1-800-verybaddeal and receive both the hand phone and pinkie toaster growing machines. REMEMBER: Call 1-800-verybaddeal for these great products!
side effects include: sneezing, coughing, diarrhea, vomiting, melting, spasms, random yelling, exsesive laughing, twitching, punching, kicking, rabies, flapping, floating, bouncing, disintagrating, burning and eventually dieing! Batteries not included. Must be 6 or older to call." the nautical commercial host says.

Ecstatic-VS-Complete Fury

TODAY IS THE DAY! My birthday has finally come! I just know that this year I will get the super limited edition BUZZ LIGHT YEAR action figure. Not only did I tell all my friends and family to get it for me I also put signs up all over the town!
It was only five minutes until the time came to let me loose and shred the wrapping paper off all of those presents.........those wonderful presents. As my mom counts down, my friends watch in awe as the terror in my eyes flicker. I was ready to rip those presents to smithereens to get my BUZZ LIGHT YEAR action figure! 5......4........3.....2.........1! I spring into the air and land on the other side of the room as the sound of tearing paper fills the room. Within seconds I am already half way done opening my gifts and excited to get my action figure as ever. When I am down to the last gift shaped exactly like the limited edition BUZZ LIGHT YEAR action figure I brace myself for how ecstatic I will be when I open it.......... I slowly peel back the wrapping paper as if it is made of gold and begin to open the box......... An ear to ear grin appears on my face as I ease my hand into the box........ Slowly I raise my hand....and in my grasp..........is......a pair of socks!?

The emotion on my face disappears as a tear rolls down my cheek. I regret to say that my actions that came were....... horrifying.... I scream loud enough to shake the world as I literally bounce off the walls until the house falls down........ At the time I hadn't known how much I would have to save up to fix the house. Even fifty years later I am still paying off the debt!

Fish Falling From The Sky

The cards were delt.......and I was feeling lucky. Confident in the combination of poker cards that lay in my grasp, I bet an ubsurd amount of money....... One million dollars. Being blinded by the power of greed, I hadn't even imagined that my ridiculous bet would backfire. Across the table and under the brim of his hat, I see a grin light up across his face. My face goes pale as I see him lay his cards out before me........ A royal flush. How could it be? That's impossible! I was certain my straight flush would win! Holding my frustration and confusion back, I acuse the man in a calm, simple tone "You're cheating... I know it". The man laughs "You better hand over 'my' one million dollars before someone gets hurt". "Yeah RIGHT! I won' give you the money until fish fall from the sky". Then... In the corner of my eye, I see the sillouhette of a fish drop to the ground outside the window. My stomach ties itself into an untiable not as more fish ebb to the ground. I run outside and gaze into the sky as fish decend through the clouds and onto the road at a suspicous rate. The sound of the man's thunderous laugh startles me. "Would you look at that! Fish seem to be raining from the sky. Now hand over my dough." Luckily I was prepared for an event like this. I grab my suitcase full of moneyand throw it to the man. Pleased with his efforts, the man steps into a chrome colored limo and the sound of the vehicle's ignition was the last I thing I ever heard from that cheater.

Did you really think that I payed that buffoon?! Obviously, being a twelve year old, I didn't have one million dollars so........ I filled the suitcase full of........ MONOPOLY MONEY! Even before we started playing I had realized that this fool was up to no good. So I invetigated and soon found out that he had a plane with a truckload of fish to be dumped out. I am not gouing to make the same mistake again! Next time I should say "when pigs fly"............. Lets see him try to make a pig fly!

The Desk Who Loves To Party

Boy am I tired…. YAWWWWWWNNNN….. Being a desk who loves to party in the classroom at night (what else did you think desks did when nobody was watching?), I am sooo tired. The reason why desks don’t move is because we party all night long. If we didn’t party, we could talk and walk just like all of you! Also to top it all off, people sit on me, write on me, lean on me, wobble me and even push me over. I don't have enoiugh strenght to talk or to move so I can't kick these bufoons off my back. As soon as my sight catches the kids running toward their first class, I realize that I will have to survive another day of being sat on and pushed around. They scramble into the classroom....... and the only thing that I can try to do is sleep. My legs feel like they have been turned to jelly and soon I am off to slumber……..land………ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Dumbo

My name is James but my friends call me Dumbo. The reason they call me this ubsurd name is because during class, the teacher occasionally asks me a question and all I can think of to say is "Did you say something?" It only happended ONCE!.......... Maybe twice........ oh okay thirty two times! It's not my fault that I have a small or limited attention span! Speaking of small attention spans.... They also say I have ADHD. To be honest I think.... Hey is that a chair? I love chairs! I can sit in them...... and jump over them.......and sleep on them...... Oops! Sorry about that.... I kinda got off topic........ Back to what I was saying; Just because I have a hard time paying attention to when boring, old people talk doesn't mean that they have the right to call me names! They make me REALLY, REALLY FURIOUS sometimes. I just want to smack them upside the head! I also feel like screaming so loud it will shatter Mt. Everest! It's not just my friends either! Last math class I got "confused" when the teacher asked me what 2+2 equals so I just thought of the thing that first poped into my head which ended up being monkeys. I thought the teacher asked me about monkeys so I told him my whole fifth grade animal report on them. Don't even get me started about how much I know about monkeys! OH....MY......GOODNESS....... Is that a................. book?